In this article: Olives, heiresses, horses, and olives (again). What do Jackie Kennedy, John Wick, and Paris Hilton have in common? Me, apparently. Read about the Spanish stables and olive farm, and our hundred year old tips & tricks! Skip to the end if you just want these fun facts, and scroll past all the jibber jabber on wild boar and Russian oligarchs.

Perhaps, like ‘Monte’ Rodriguez, your great-great-grandfather was a tinned-olive enthusiast who left you a tragic family history but a generous donation of crop protection shares in the precision agriculture market, yay? Aaaand plenty of books, in Spanish (about olives no less) yay again?

Recently, Yellowstone has returned to broadcasting (loving it), where Kevin Costner’s character said something that is similar to how things work over in Andy (short for Andalucía).

Since 1865 every Rodriguez has planted a tree on the farm, from my great-great Grandfather, to my Uncle, and my favourite cousin. When the olives are harvested I know exactly what fortified each tree and each bottle of olive oil.

The aim is to last long enough so our children can join the cycle and maybe, just maybe, a tree sprouts from them too. In farming, the goal is to survive another season, and to break even. And that’s the best we can hope for, because nothing we do is for today!

“No School like the Old School”

(If you’re a Pixar fan, you can find the reference to ^^ that quote here)

Now I got great-great-grand-Papi’s heirloom cred, right?! No, nevertheless, I’d be shamelessly lying if I said I don’t shriek at the thought of brandishing an heiress title like a magic sceptre while at Punta del Este in Uruguay. But there would be a giant olive on top of my sceptre, not a regimental jewel. The term is associated with the heirhead type* or worse, Anna Sorkin; the juicy story now scandalised on Netflix.

*see Paris Hilton; Kimberly Stewart, and the like.

But there is an option other than ‘New School’ Paris Hilton, or ‘No School’ Anna Sorkin – there is simply good old-fashioned Old School. Enter, Monte Rodriguez *imagine him in farmer clothes and a little soil smudged on his nose, the crowd goes wild!*

Olive trees have covered Andalusian hill sides for thousands of years, it was the olive basket of the Roman empire. It helped sustain the empires dominance for centuries because it was an indispensable fuel for lamps, not just a source of nutrition. Olive oil was also medicine, cosmetics, perfume – it really is impossible to exaggerate the marvellous importance of olive oil throughout the history of mankind! The oil and the olive tree were both considered sacred to the Romans, and the Greeks, and to the Egyptians before them.

“Monterriso Olive Oil is completely farmed and ground by hand with a deep respect and love for our family origin. Every olive is an ode to the Rodriguez family gratitude in calling this special place home.”

International Excess Express

“Too English in Spain, too Spanish in England, too Latin… everywhere”

Spend time in any ‘good’ Spanish watering hole and you’re bound to come across a tribe of international riffraff who are so inexplicably shady they ought to be “the United Nations of ne’er-do-wells”. With the obvious set of European Playboys, Levi-wearing Oligarchs, and perhaps a Saudi Prince only 271st in line for the throne. Of course I’ll be there, the British born Brazilian-Spanish chica (merp) with a “dream journal” and a Cavalli caftan… the paisana, the pink flamingo and proud un-heiress who’d rather be in Dubarry’s than Louboutin’s. You may also spot an Aristobrat (dark roots, blonde ends, ‘ethnic’ tunic) or a Trustafarian (the one in blonde locs and festival Bob Marley tops but living off Mummy & Daddy’s stocks).

Exquisitely groomed ‘fillies’ to lead the old pack are Georgina Bloomberg, Zara Phillips (duh) and Athina Onassis de Miranda who wed Brazilian show jumper in 2005 (Doda Miranda) & found herself competing for a spot on Greece’s Olympic Equestrian team.

Note: The strongest riders inevitably take up the (precipitously expensive) sport shortly after learning to walk. Jackie Kennedy first straddled a pony at age two, and was competing in the Hampton Classic before her tenth birthday.

The Exotics, or the “pink flamingos” are the internationals who can’t hide behind their year-round tans and known for the over-the-top Spanish colonial villas or cheesy sounding foreign names. You might choose one, if you wish, from rereading Don Quixote and seeing what strikes you at random *wink, nod*. However great-great-grandfather went for La Monterriso which isn’t too cheesy like Las Incas or others. Many of the old estates fell into disrepair due to rising costs but luckily, olives are a steady business. Spain’s geography and climate – with extensive mountain slopes, mild or cold winters, and long, hot summers – are ideal for olive cultivation providing La Monterriso 47,000 kilos of olives. The rest of the property is agricultural (wheat), pasture and hilly woodland of oak where the wild boar roam.

While there you can see a river run through the property, providing drinking water for the animals, although it cannot be used for other purposes. It’s also equipped for breeding acorn-fed Iberico pigs, and Andalusian horses. My favourite.

Colonialism and John Wick

I can get there through “The Flower” (Volcán de Tindaya ferry) to stay and see the Ca’ d’Zan style villa with adorable cottaged neighbours, one of whom shares my family nickname Rosa. She has enviable Basque monastery ceiling beams that are admittedly a little worm eaten, uh-oh.

Our architectural aesthetic has a sense of nostalgia for the past; whether it be the 18th century, or the 1920s-1950s. The nostalgia tends to be very patriotic, romanticizing Latin and even aesthetics of American or British history however not ignoring the dark side of British imperialism, the Latin conquest of the Caribbean or the Settlers impact on Native Americans. You could loosely interpret that to mean “anything old and ethnic and conquistadory.”

However, proudly, this Rodriguez atmosphere reminds me of the time Spaniards were on the right side of history regarding the Amerindians, and Taínos whom I share blood with. The new law under King Charles of Spain in 1542 placed the Indigenous peoples of America and the Caribbean directly under the protection of the crown. And in seeking to uphold this, the 5x great grandfather (Ydalla, an old Spanish name you won’t hear much of now) voyaged with the devoted de las Casas (who wept) and condemned Columbus’ conquest under the law of human rights. Las Casas also excommunicated anyone who opposed this law (he was a priest, excommunicated is not as John Wick as it sounds, sadly).

So, although the interiors could seem immediately triggering or contradictory to my Indigenous Taíno lineage, the knowledge and Spanish pride behind what ‘seems’ conquistadory is quite the opposite at my home. Which is both heart-warming and redeeming for us all. Viva España!

Now, for the bit about Olives, Olives, and Olive Oil

You may never have heard of Monterriso but you’ve probably tasted its olive oil, and your grandparents too. Because it’s been going since before Monte got a hold in 1865 and contributes to Spain’s abundant industry which gets packaged and imported through companies such as Acesur, and distributed from Spain to places like Sunninghill Ascot.

Spain produces half of ALL the olive oil sold in the world. Just think about that for a moment. Even sending our oil to Italy.
There are about 700 variations of olives around the Mediterranean, manzanilla is a popular favourite. When you realise there’s over 700 variations of olive flavour, olive oil HAS to become the best condiment in the kitchen!

Here are some of the things I learnt at my home-away-from-home on the family farm:

1 • Every bottle of Extra Virgin Olive Oil is different to the next, much like a remarkable wine – except wine gets better with age, and olive oil is the exact opposite!
2 • The olive fruit begins to degrade the second it’s picked, so the production is speedy! But you should be speedy to consume your olive oil too and don’t store it near sunlight or oven heat.
3 • It can last while stored up to two years in an unopened bottle. But once you open that bad boy, it should be used within 2-3 months. As soon as you open that bottle, the clock starts ticking.
4 • Mature olives are easier to harvest than extra virgin because there’s more oil in the olives that are mature. If an olive tree produces 20-50 kilos of olive, 10 kilos of those extra virgin olives give about 1 litre of olive oil. Just one bottle! But if those olives were more mature, you’d get double the oil.
5 • It can take 10 years before a small olive tree can give a substantial sized crop.
6 • The stronger the flavour of the extra virgin olive oil, the stronger the compounds of antioxidants that support the cardiovascular and immune systems.
7 • You can fry with olive oil! Repeat, you can fry with olive oil! Olive oil is great for roasting vegetables and frying things on a stove. Extra Virgin Olive Oil is of course better for frying because of the monounsaturated fat with stability in high heat. The smoke point of extra virgin olive oil is 410 °F (210 °C) and deep frying doesn’t even come that high – up to 375 Fahrenheit (180° C).

As a newly devoted person to the cause, I previously got a lot (meaning everything) wrong. Let me know if you’ve learnt anything from this aside from a Pixar quote and random references to John Wick and Paris Hilton… And let me know if you want some olive plant-growing tips as I’ll be recreating my own Monterriso in the UK!